by Ray Bendici
Dec 5, 2012
09:09 AMUnsteady Habits
Hope all is well!
It's been a very interesting year here in Connecticut, as you might already know. We've have some good times and great days, but there's also been a few bad things that have happened here. I know you're very busy at this time of year, so I won't bore you with all the details—suffice to say that there's plenty of people around here whose stockings you could fill with coal and no one would bat an eyelash. (I'm sure you already have them on the "Naughty" list.)
Anyway, since I'm sure you've already figured out what to get me this year—as I've earnestly detailed in my earlier letters to you (again, the chocolate pudding would just be extra, not the entire gift)—I thought I might help you along by making a few suggestions as to what to bring these fine citizens of Connecticut this holiday season:
Gov. Dannel Malloy - $415 million. If you can't find that in the cushions on the sleigh, then make it a *BIG* bottle of Advil.
OPM Secretary and state budget chief Ben Barnes - A pallet full of Band-aids for all the cuts he's facing in 2013.
State Comptroller Kevin Lembo - A bigger slide rule because he's going to be dealing with some scary math here.
State Treasurer Denise Nappier - A new phone number to hide from the impending collections calls from the state's creditors.
House Minority Leader Lawrence Cafero - A few more voting Republicans.
Christopher Murphy - A sturdy pair of training wheels for that first year in the Senate—with all the issues (fiscal cliff anyone?), it may be a wild ride in 2013.
Richard Blumenthal - A nice Nardellis meatball grinder, with the works. (My sister—you know, the one who is undoubtedly on your "naughty" list—always says he looks too skinny.)
Joe Lieberman - A pony, on which he can ride off into the sunset (although I'm not sure we've seen the last of Joe in public service.)
Tom Foley - A gift certificate for a massage—his shoulder's going to get sore pretty quickly from all the hammering of Malloy he'll be doing in his new bid for the governor's office.
UConn President Susan Herbst - An athletic conference that wants the Huskies football team.
Geno Auriemma - Uh, some aftershave? After adding a gold medal to the trophy case last year, he already seems to have everything.
Jim Calhoun - An extra set of golf clubs for his retirement—a fiery guy like him seems like he's flung a club or two on the course in frustration over the years.
Kevin Ollie - Tickets for Jim Calhoun to go to Florida to enjoy those new golf clubs and not hang around casting a large shadow over the new coach.
The people of Connecticut - A hurricane season with no hurricanes—and don't try and slip in another one of the October snow storms, either! Also, if you want to provide some relief for all of those affected by the storms, that'll be welcome.
Now, get those elves to work! And don't forget about my pudding.
Your "good" friend Ray